Grey's Anatomy depicts many complicated professional and personal relationships, and one of the most difficult to watch is doubtlessly that between Ellen Pompeo's Dr. Meredith Grey and her mother, Dr. Ellis Grey. Typically played by Kate Burton, with the exception of one flashback episode where she is played by Sarah Paulson, Ellis is depicted as a competitive and unrivaled surgeon, but not a very good mother. The emotional abuse Meredith experienced with her mother affects her entire life; Meredith eventually seems to accept that Ellis ended up in a role she wasn't meant for, but respects her memory as a groundbreaking surgeon.
Grey's Anatomy has a lot to say when it comes to the obstacles faced by women in the workplace, and how striking a balance between their home lives and career ambitions is often more difficult for them than it is for their male partners and co-workers. Ellis is a much harder character to sympathize with when it often comes across that she simply hates her daughter. Meredith would have had good reason to distance herself from Ellis and even hesitated to become a general surgeon because she didn't want to be like her, but the show, nonetheless, delivers another complex arc.
Ellis Grey's Story In Grey's Anatomy Explained
Ellis Grey Set Out To Become One Of The Best Surgeons Of Her Time, No Matter The Cost
Ellis entered the medical profession at a time when it was even more difficult for women to succeed in it; in season 6, episode 15, "The Time Warp," she is the only woman in her residency program, while Richard Webber (normally James Pickens Jr.; J. August Richards as a young man) is the only Black person. Ellis is ambitious and ruthless at work, and her husband and child are a bothersome distraction to her. While she is much more focused on her work life, she begins having an affair with Richard, who is also married.
How exactly Ellis ended up married to Thatcher (Jeff Parry) and having Meredith is never fully delved into, so we must assume both were rushed decisions, also potentially driven by the social expectations of the time. When Ellis discovers that she is pregnant with Maggie (Kelly McCreary), she doesn't even tell Richard and gives the baby up for adoption, at least aware that she isn't cut out to be responsible for a second child. She does take Ellis away from Thatcher, seemingly too prideful to let him raise the child she didn't even want.
Once they had moved to Boston, Ellis likely relied more on school and daycare for Meredith so she could focus on her career. She also pushes Meredith to the breaking point with expectations that she will be successful, perhaps trying to impart the lesson of not giving up her career for a family. Ellis actually becomes more sympathetic through her parallels to Cristina (Sandra Oh), who understands that she will always love her work more and aborts a pregnancy because of this. Meredith sees that Ellis didn't intend to become a mother, but didn't have Cristina's compassion, making things difficult for them both.
Ellis Felt That Having Meredith Stood The Way Of Her Career In Grey's Anatomy
Ellis' Resentment Of Meredith Is Apparent From The Time She Was Young
Meredith thinks that the guilt of not loving her child as much as surgery would have crushed Cristina, but this doesn't seem to have been the case with Ellis. For whatever reason, Ellis was able to convince herself that she could at least be an inspiring mother by pushing Meredith to do her best. However, she did resent Meredith for taking time away from her work. This was ultimately traumatic for Meredith, as she knew her whole life that her mother would rather not have had her as a responsibility.
Ellis seems to have some moments of guilt about it all, but never really tried to fix things or be better. When Meredith talks to Owen (Kevin McKidd) about her upbringing to argue that Cristina is making a responsible decision by having an abortion, the ultimate lesson of the story comes through. Meredith manages to make peace with the situation with her mother and sees her as an inspiration for her career, but understands that Ellis shouldn't have been a mom. Grey's Anatomy, therefore, encourages caution when it comes to deciding to be a parent.
What Happened To Ellis Grey In Grey's Anatomy
Ellis Made History As A Surgeon & Died From Alzheimer's
Even as an effectively single mother, Ellis became a famous and award-winning surgeon, someone many young doctors, especially women, besides Meredith, would look up to. It sometimes seems like her complaints about Meredith were unfounded when she became so successful anyway, but a moment of having to miss out on a career opportunity for her child probably seemed like a bigger deal at the time than it ended up being. However, Ellis' career was cut short when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
Meredith cares for her mother during this time and grants Ellis' request that she not tell anyone. Ellis' rare moments of lucidity show that she hasn't learned much in the way of parenting, mostly regretting the time lost from her own life and coming down hard on Meredith. Ellis eventually dies from complications from the disease, all of which happens fairly early on in Grey's Anatomy. It is a heavy storyline, even years after Ellis' death, but Meredith ultimately makes her own way and has a happy life despite her mother's worst mistakes.
